She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
