if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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