Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
