You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
