I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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