i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
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I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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