I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
they need to just BURY HIM!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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