He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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