you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
