You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is this like a preordered booty call?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
