no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
