i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
