no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
