last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I am available for nakedness
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
