Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize