i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
