Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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