so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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