Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
