smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
