either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
