I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
