Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
