Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
