My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
