i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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