I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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