Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
