i may or may not be watching the land before time
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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