the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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