hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
