genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
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I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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