guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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