My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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