please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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