My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol