508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dignity is for republicans.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize