Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
