Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
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He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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