Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
