Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Fuck appropriateness.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
