How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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