Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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