We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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