I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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