If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize