i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
