But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
