just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
