when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the day after is always just damage control
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
