May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
