He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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