i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
