There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
