this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
