look no pants
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
