Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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