omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
