hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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